Question…..what if your husbands sex drive is way more than yours? At the begi…

Home Forums Relationship Advice Question…..what if your husbands sex drive is way more than yours? At the begi…

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Joey Covet 7 months ago.

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  • #102

    administrator
    Keymaster

    Question…..what if your husbands sex drive is way more than yours? At the beginning of our relationship it was ok. But over the past five years I find I just don’t want any relations with my husband. I feel bad but for years I have just sucked it up and had sex even when I didn’t want to. Even when I was sick, hurting, sad, glad, and or mad. He uses it as a control item. If he does something for me I have to repay him with sex. If I refuse to he makes mean comments and says I don’t love him. What can I or should I do?

    #103

    Joey Covet

    End the relationship. No one should be coercing you into sex for any reason. No one should make you feel bad for not having sex. You should never be in a situation where you feel you have to have sex, or where you’re having sex when you don’t want to. That’s not love, to force sex on someone. That’s rape.

    #104

    Lauren Consul

    This sounds like it is a lot more than different sex drives, but rather, emotional and sexual manipulation. Couples who have different sex drives can find a middle ground, but not if one partner is using sex to control the other. It makes sense why you don’t want relations with him anymore; he isn’t respecting you as a partner and it’s hard to want to be with someone who doesn’t respect you.

    #105

    Naomi Lea

    I think you should spark your sex life. I felt that way with my ex husband. And we divorced and he found a chick way prettier than me and I was single for 3 yrs in and out of shity relationships right along with the one I have now. I totally regret it because we had a really close relationship when I should of just stuck it through to spice it up.

    #106

    Naomi Lea

    I think you should be happy that he still is attracted you in love it’s better then him being out cheating on you

    #107

    Kimberly Jackson

    Get a divorce lawyer.

    #108

    Jim Cable

    For richer or poorer, for better or worse. 8 words that seem so meaningless these days. Counseling would be the best place to start. Even if just for yourself at first

    #109

    Cheryl Stalling

    Have you and husband talked about this situation and tried to come to a common ground. Try to work things out, divorce should be the absolute last resort

    #110

    Daniel Ellsworth

    My wifes is way more than mine.

    #111

    Erik Clark

    Sex is an important part of a relationship. Maybe he feels that you are trying to control him by not giving him sex. You need to have a sit down with you man and find out what happened from the beginning till this point in time what changed. Is he not pleasing you. If so that something that you can work on. No one knows your body like you. Show him how to get you off.

    #112

    Zarina Milton

    Wow. Sooo…. my situation is the other way around. Weve been together 4 years and used to have sex a lot and now my bf doesnt want to and makes me angry and I feel like he doesn’t love me and i tell him that too. I feel like I shouldn’t have to BEG my own man for sex he should want me…. if u dont want your husband anymore there is a problem there.

    #113

    Tracey Kendall

    Here are 5 reasons women stop enjoying sex..

    1. Low libido, or what doctors refer to as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD).

    2. Painful sex. This can include pain during sex due to menopausal vulvo-vaginal atrophy resulting from a lack of hormones as well as a burning pain syndrome of the genitals.

    3. Difficulty being aroused. Sexual Arousal Disorder can originate in the genital area (comparable to erectile dysfunction in men) or an issue at the brain level (which is more common in women).

    4. Aversion to sex. Often, this is related to a history of sexual abuse.

    5. Inability to achieve orgasm. Up to 10-20 percent of women never achieved orgasm and many others have difficulty. But there are treatments available for this.
    It’s important to note that if a woman isn’t bothered by low libido or if she likes intimacy with her partner but simply doesn’t seek it, this isn’t considered a problem. It is normal for women to lose some of their sexual drive as they get older, and much depends on whether or not she considers this an issue.

    There are many varieties of treatments for sexual dysfunction, depending on the root cause of the problem. There are a variety of options, including an oral medication and hormones as well as others that are simply creams or devices that help women feel aroused.

    Perhaps you should talk with your Doctor about these options to help you overcome this issue?? Worth a shot..

    If you love your husband & you still want to stay with him, but you need to address the sex issues, definitely look into this.. Because this many not be an actual issue your husband has, but it’s becoming an issue for you, because mentally this is starting to affect your emotional connection with him..

    #114

    Mercy Chb Bly Chola

    Be with him and try to make him feel free or do something that will help you find him attractive to him.

    #115

    Erin Brooke Smith

    Thanks for all the advice.

    #116

    Keri Suggs

    It’s AMAZING how our spirit knows what’s up… All we have to do sometimes is listen to our own words. 👌
    You stated in the beginning all was fine, which logically shows you entered this relationship sexually ok. At the end you stated what has occurred, which is he expects sex when he’s done something for you and treats you poorly if you don’t give him what he wants. This then is indeed the problem. He didn’t marry a whore. You logically no longer want sex because it makes you feel like a whore, used, and worthless (or only worth the thing that he did or purchased), your feelings are not being considered when he makes you feel bad and therefore your self worth is plummeting. You and your spirit are crying out for help. You probably have went through everything from blaming yourself to talking in every fashion or avenue possible to fix it. Unfortunately this is not in your power to control or even influence, even if you have a history of abuse. This is HIS problem. You must accept this is how he views sex. This is how he has learned to get sex, and unfortunately it works… All the jack shacks, whores, and money hungry women, and possibly his family and friends have reinforced this behavior. Sadly women that have big hearts with low self esteem and usually a history of abuse can find themselves in this situation because these men shame the girl into believing it’s her fault and responsibility to fix. 💔 This couldn’t be further from the truth. This is his inability to have healthy sexual relations. This is his sexual disfunction and his responsibility to fix. It’s not your fault and it’ll continue damaging your selfworth the longer you allow yourself to be in those circumstances. Selfworth will take longer to rebuild then the hurt you’ll have to overcome when you stop reinforcing his behavior. Start protecting and caring for yourself. You didn’t choose to be a whore, don’t allow yourself to stay in a situation where you’re treated like one. You and your spirit know what is right and wrong. Choose to not spend anymore time fighting with yourself, instead work with your spirit. Make your decision to create and provide yourself an appropriate environment with the boundaries that give yourself the peace you deserve. 🤗 Remember men respond to action not words. They make their decision we make ours accordingly.✌

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